A New Dawn...A New Damn Day!

Yeah, the title says it all. I re-read my last post and was like, bitch get a fuckin' grip! You've known the guy for like a week or so. Fuck that. It's like Charlotte said in Sex and the City, it does take you half the time you were with a man to get over him. Although quicker in this case. By the time I hit the publish post button, I was done. Plus talking it over with another one of my hardened hearted bitches helped a lot. Listening to her recite my own words back to me, made me realize what a retard I was being. I mean, I literally cringed at my patheticism. But all of this is a lesson learned. This is why I don't do well when it comes to dating cause I get bored, frustrated, or just lose interest fairly quickly. Then I'm ready to move on.

I was listening to that Bastian of sage advice, Oprah, last week. And it was during her interview with Iyanla Vanzant that she made this statement. I'd heard it before (she likes saying it) but this time I really HEARD it. She said something like, 'If you don't want me then I don't wanna want you'. And she talked about learning it in her twenties...from all the times she'd tried to hold onto some man who didn't want her. How she'd beg for him to not leave and all that bullshit, and now at 50+, she's done with that mess. And I realized I'm right there with her. I may still fall into sappy despair, but my bounce back quotient is MUCH higher now. And I'm just not gonna chase and beg a man to fucking want me, or to fuck me. True, there may not be a lot of options out there for me, or none at all, but even if the only sexual attention I get is that I give to myself with my Freddy and a pack of AA batteries, then so fuckin' be it! At least I know it'll be worth it and a good time will be had by all parties involved.

Last weekend I went through this same shit with B-BOY. He's the fine ass law student I met with Sharelle at a club during my birthday weekend. And when I say fine, I'm not exaggerating. He was taller than me, again, shocker; like 6' or so. Full, luscious lips, sexy bedroom eyes, sensual voice, masculine hands, pearly white teeth and great smile, and milk chocolate complexion (I bet it taste like it too--hot damn!). He was slender but looked like he had some muscles, I couldn't really tell all that cause he had layers of clothing on, but I got the distinct impression that he'd look great naked. So me, being drunk and horny, was doing all I could to investigate that statement. But since my girl was staying with me, I wasn't gonna fuck him that night. I could have kicked her out and sent her...somewhere, but that's not how I get down. I've never been that chick to ditch her friends for some dick. Call me crazy but I do have standards, damn.

So we both realized it wasn't gonna work that night, despite the full court press he was putting on me. And I was caving. Fast forward a week later, and we've sent each other a few texts. He hit me up at some ridiculous time in the morning circa 4am or so. Fortunately, I was up. But we really got into it. No sexting, but I was putting it all on the table. I told him we need to get together and stop the bullshitting cause he's feeling me and I'm definitely feeling him and we just need to make it happen. Cause it will happen. And he'll enjoy it. Maybe not all that, but that's fairly close to what I said. And he was all systems go! But he was drunk and the hour was way late...or early cause by then it was like 6am. So we left it open, but open for the next night. Well I was going on a date with IHOP that night. No problem. I figured we'd only be out till midnight or so and I could call B-BOY, and we could make some magic happen. And my body needed something magical. So as the comedy show was winding down, I text B-BOY and told him not to wait till 4am to hit me up tonight, and he text back, "I gotcha lol". God I hope so. And by the way, I know it's in poor taste to text one dude for sex while on a date with another, but fuck it. A bitch gotta do what a bitch gotta do, and I needed to be doin that sweet young thang!

So I get home and leave my make-up on but change into my pixie nightgown with spaghetti straps. My hair was down and lightly cupped my shoulders, with a sultry curl to it and seductively messy. I was workin it, I know. I too had bedroom eyes now. I made sure everything was right. And I text him something appropriately erotic and ended it with "I'm ready to see you. Now." Maybe it got lost in translation, who knows cause I'm still waiting to hear from that nigga. To say I was disappointed would be like saying the Egyptians had a slight issue with their government. I had to find Freddy cause I put him up thinking there'd be no need for falsehoods tonight. But shit, why waste the outfit and sex kitten look? I stay stocked in AA batteries.

Though I wanted his body and would have ridden him like an expert surfer on a tidal wave of orgiastically orgasmic eroticism, I was damned if I was gonna beg this nigga to fuck me. Want it or not, the choice is yours, but know the offer only comes once. Unlike yours truly :) There's only one bite at the apple, and if the luscious juices that flow from the bountiful fruit of my loins isn't enough to get you to ravish me like a nubile schoolgirl in a French fetish movie, than it's time for me to hawk my wares elsewhere. I can serve it up, but damnit, you gotta dig in.

So he didn't want me. Cool. Like Jay-Z said, "Onto the next one". And that's how I feel about WHITE DUDE. You only got a taste. A mere sample of the joys to come. And if that's enough for you, fine. You know when you're full. But please don't think this ripe nectar will sit on the shelf and dry up. No, no, honey. I know there's other men out there dying of thirst and hunger. Just longing to take a bite. Hunt's on, bitches.

Till next time, lovers!